just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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