how can u be prego again
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
