I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Girls should come with a carfax report
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
