All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
