You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
