So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
