I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
