I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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