I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
