Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
