Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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