She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
