Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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