I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize