I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
