Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just invented taco cereal.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.