never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.