I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.