that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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