So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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