there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
