i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Come see our sink grown plant.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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