I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
