um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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