windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
