he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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