Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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