I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
