Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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