so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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