please come you make the beer taste better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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