She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
