White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
