You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You can't motorboat a personality
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever