Christians are straight up FREAKS
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.