Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

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(630): View more from Illinois

there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week

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(707): View more from California

then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(734): View more from Michigan

i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen

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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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(214): View more from Texas

COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!

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(309): View more from Illinois

Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.

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(801): View more from Utah

I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.

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