Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her