you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list