My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is Oprah even human
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.