Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
