I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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