I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
