so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
