garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
