I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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