No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
