# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
