OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
