Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
