What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
