I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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