I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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