It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
