How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i believe in u and ur pee
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
