I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
