I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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