I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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