"it" just moved
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think I won the penis lottery.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize