would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
