theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
