Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
