So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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