office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
