So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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