I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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