How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize