My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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