Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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