PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
BRING THE BAGELS
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
