Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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