finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
