But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize