absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
