i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
